ISSUE 5 SCRIPT: RIFT OF THE SHIFTERS

THE GUYS

 ISSUE 5

 
TITLE: RIFT OF THE SHIFTERS

 

PAGE ONE

 

 

1/ The exterior of a museum. Daytime. People are walking in up the steps. There’s a banner over the entrance reading ‘SOUTH AFRICAN DIAMOND EXHIBITION’.

 

CAPTION:

 MORNING. THE MANHATTAN MUSEUM OF FINE ART AND JEWELLERY.

 

CAPTION:

  TODAY IS THE GRAND OPENING OF THE KAMAU DIAMOND COLLECTION.

 

 

2/ Interior. People are milling about, looking at jewels, necklaces, rings etc. in glass cabinets.

 

 

CAPTION:

  GATHERED HERE ARE SOME OF THE PUREST DIAMONDS IN THE WORLD. WORTH CLOSE TO A BILLION DOLLARS, THE COLLECTION IS FIERCELY GUARDED BY THE FINEST SECURITY MONEY CAN BUY.

 

 

3/  Close up on burly security guards.

 

CAPTION:

  GUARDS…

 

4/  Close up on laser beams around a casket of bracelets and necklaces.

 

CAPTION:

 ….LASER BEAM SECURITY…

 

5/  Close up on a video camera.

 

CAPTION:

 …AND MOTION SENSITIVE CAMERAS MAKE THIS A VERITABLE FORT KNOX.

 

 

 

 

 

 

PAGE TWO

 

 

1/ A bespectacled, academic looking man is stood on a podium, addressing the crowd. He’s in a crisp suit and there’s a lot of people looking up at him. On a stand next to the podium, there’s an object draped with a red velvet cloth with a gold tassle.

 

CURATOR:

 GOOD MORNING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. IF I COULD HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE.

 

 

2/  Close up on CURATOR.

 

CURATOR 1:

 AS THE CURATOR HERE AT THE MANHATTAN MUSEUM OF FINE ART AND JEWELLERY, IT IS MY GREAT PLEASURE TO INTRODUCE TO YOU TODAY THE UNPARALLELED KAMAU COLLECTION, THE GREATEST ACCUMULATION OF UNCUT GEMS, DIAMONDS AND JEWELLERY IN THE WORLD.

 

CURATOR 2:

AND SO, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE TO INTRODUCE THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE COLLECTION, I GIVE YOU THE EMMINENT ENTREPENEUR, COLLECTOR AND PHILANTHROPIST– VIKTOR KAMAU.

 

 

3/  The audience are clapping as VIKTOR KAMAU walks onto the podium, smiling. He is a well-dressed and groomed, slightly tubby black man.

 

KAMAU:

  THANK YOU. THANK YOU ALL. I AM VERY HONOURED TO BE HERE TODAY TO SHARE WITH YOU ALL THE WONDER AND SPLENDOUR OF THE KAMAU COLLECTION.

 

 

4/ KAMAU reaches for the cloth covering on the stand.

 

KAMAU 1:

  SUCH A COLLECTION OF ASTONISHING JEWELLERY AND ARTIFACTS HAS NOT BEEN SINCE THE AGE OF THE ANCIENT PHAROAHS.

 

 

 

 

 

KAMAU 2:

YET AS SPECTACULAR AS THE COLLECTION IS, IT PALES INTO INSIGNIFICANCE NEXT TO OUR NEWEST ADDITION. AND SO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WITH A PRIDE THAT BORDERS ON THE PATERNAL, I GIVE TO YOU THE WORLD’S LARGEST UNCUT DIAMOND….

 

 

5/  Close up on a huge football sized diamond on a cushion as KAMAU whips away the cover.

 

KAMAU:

 …THE HEART OF AFRICA!

 

 

 

 

PAGE THREE

 

Full page splash. KAMAU looks on in shock as the costumed figure of THE SHIFTER appears from a black hole that has suddenly appeared floating in mid-air behind the stand. He is only visible from the waist up as the rest of him is still in the hole he shifts through. The teleporting villain’s costume is a hideous body suit and mask, bright green with thick yellow arrows all over it. THE SHIFTER grabs the diamond.

 

KAMAU:

 WHAT THE?!?

 

THE SHIFTER:

 OH MAN, IT’S LIKE TAKING CANDY FROM A BABY.

 

 

 

PAGE FOUR

 

 

1/ THE SHIFTER is halfway into his porthole, the diamond under his arm.

 

THE SHIFTER:

 NOT BAD FOR FIVE SECOND’S WORK. LISTEN UP PEOPLE – NAME’S THE SHIFTER. TELL ALL THE BANKS AND STORES ‘ROUND HERE I’LL BE SHIFTING INTO THEM TOO PRETTY SOON.

 

 

 

2/ Only his hand is visible from the porthole as he waves goodbye.

 

THE SHIFTER:

 TH-TH-TH-THAT’S ALL FOLKS.

 

 

3/ KAMAU and THE CURATOR are staring at the empty space where THE SHIFTER was in pure disbelief.

 

CURATOR:

  MY GOD, I DON’T BELIEVE IT. HE..HE’S GONE. WHO WAS THAT?!?

 

KAMAU:

  THE HEART OF AFRICA! THAT COSTUMED THIEF..HE..HE’S STOLEN IT. MY PRECIOUS JEWEL!

 

 

4/ Close up on KAMAU yelling.

 

KAMAU:

 GUARDS!!

 

 

5/  Exterior of THE GUYS’ house. A word balloon is coming from a window.

 

CAPTION:

 THE FOLLOWING DAY.

 

WORD BALLOON:

  HEY GUYS, HAVE YOU SEEN TODAY’S ENQUIRER? THERE’S SOMETHING IN THERE I THINK YOU SHOULD SEE.

 

 

 

PAGE FIVE

 

 

 

1/ CHRIS is stood reading the paper in the living room. BILLY, VINNIE, AL and EDDIE are watching T.V. in various degrees of slobbery.

 

CHRIS:

 THIS IS AMAZING. IT SAYS HERE THAT SOMEBODY TELEPORTED INTO A MUSEUM YESTERDAY AND STOLE THE WORLD’S LARGEST UNCUT DIAMOND. I MEAN – TELEPORTED!

 

 

EDDIE:

  WHAT, LIKE THAT MIND-O GUY FROM LAST WEEK?

 

 

BILLY:

 NAH EDDIE, YOU DUMB BASTARD, THAT WAS TELEPATHY. TELEPORTATION’S LIKE MOVING THINGS WITH YOUR MIND OR SOME SHIT.

 

 

2/  Close up on CHRIS  reading the newspaper. The front page headline reads ‘ PRICELESS DIAMONDS STOLEN BY CRIMINAL CALLED THE SHIFTER!’

 

 

CHRIS:

 YOU’RE BOTH WRONG. TELEPORTATION MEANS MOVING FROM ONE SPACE TO ANOTHER IN AN INSTANT. LISTEN TO THIS. AN EYE WITNESS AT THE SCENE SAID “ SOME FREAK IN A YELLOW CATSUIT JUST POPPED OUT OF A HOLE IN THE FLOOR, ROBBED THAT HUGE DIAMOND AND THEN VANISHED INTO THE FLOOR AGAIN. THE WHOLE THING TOOK ABOUT TEN SECONDS.” DON’T YOU GUYS GET IT, DON’T YOU GET WHAT THIS MEANS?

 

 

3/ 

 

AL:

 I DUNNO, SOME GUY MUST’VE CUT A HOLE IN THE FLOOR OR SOMETHING. WHO GIVES A SHIT?

 

CHRIS:

  NO AL, IT MEANS THERE’S A TELEPORTER OUT THERE. SOMEBODY ELSE WITH SUPER POWERS LIKE OURS.

 

 

4/

BILLY:

 SO WHAT, CHRIS? YOU WANT TO GO RECRUIT THIS GUY SO HE CAN JOIN US AND WE CAN ALL FIGHT FUCKING CRIME TOGETHER? BALLS TO THAT.

 

CHRIS:

 NO, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, BILLY. THIS GUY, CALLING HIMSELF THE SHIFTER, HE STOLE A DIAMOND. DON’T YOU SEE?

 

 

5/  Close up on CHRIS as he smiles devilishly.

 

CHRIS:

 THIS IS OUR FIRST REAL SUPER VILLAIN!

 

6/

 

VINNIE:

 SO WHAT DO WE DO NOW? HOW DO WE KNOW WHERE THIS GUY IS?

 

AL:  YEAH, AND HOW ARE WE EVEN GOING TO STOP HIM?

 

 

7/

EDDIE:

 YEAH, AND WHAT’S IN IT FOR US? WHY SHOULD WE EVEN BOTHER?

 

CHRIS:

  I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THAT AND TRUST ME. I’VE GOT AN IDEA.

 

 

PAGE SIX

 

 

1/  Shot of a man walking through a corridor, flanked by aides. The man is slightly tubby but not fat, middle aged and in a sharp suit. He has a moustache and a spirit-level straight side parting. It’s MAYOR MILLER.

 

MILLER:

  OKAY BOYS, WHAT’VE WE GOT ON FOR TODAY?

 

AIDE #1:

  WELL MAYOR, YOU’VE GOT A MEETING WITH THE STEELWORKER’S UNION AT ELEVEN, LUNCH WITH MIKE FIGGIS AT TWELVE AND YOU’RE ADDRESSING THE BOARD AT CITY HALL AT TWO.

 

 

 

2/ 

 

MILLER 1:

  AH CHRIST, ELLIOTT. DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE MYSELF? CANCEL THE FIRST AND LAST THINGS ON THAT LIST THEN GET ON THE PHONE TO MIKE AND BRING DINNER FORWARD BY HALF AN HOUR.

 

AIDE #1:  (writing on pad)

 UH, YES SIR. OH, AND VIKTOR KAMAU PHONED AGAIN. THAT’S TWENTY SEVEN TIMES TODAY ABOUT THAT DISAPPEARING THIEF INCIDENT.

 

 

MILLER 2:

 IF HE PHONES AGAIN, TELL HIM I’M MEETING THE STEELWORKER’S UNION AND THE BOARD AT CITY HALL. I’LL BE IN MY OFFICE UNTIL DINNER ELLIOTT, TRY NOT TO DISTURB ME EH?

 

 

3/  Shot of MAYOR MILLER alone in his plush mayor’s office. There’s a big desk and large windows with the tops of other buildings in the background, showing that it’s high up. He takes a cigar out of a box on his desk.

 

MILLER:

  ALRIGHT, MR CASTRO, LET’S HAVE OUR MEETING.

 

 

4/  THE MAYOR is sat in his chair, feet up on the desk, smoking his cuban cigar. There’s a buzz from the intercom on his desk.

 

MILLER:

  AHH, CUBA’S FINEST EXPORT SINCE CESAR ROMERO.

 

INTERCOM BUZZ:

  UH…MAYOR MILLER...I…I’VE GOT SOME PEOPLE HERE WHO WANT TO SEE YOU. THEY SAY IT’S URGENT.

 

 

5/ MILLER shouts angrily into the Intercom.

 

 

MILLER 1:

GODDAMMIT ELLIOTT, I TOLD YOU, NO INTERRUPTIONS. I’M BUSY HERE!

 

INTERCOM BUZZ:

  TRUST ME SIR, YOU’RE AH, YOU’RE REALLY GOING TO WANT TO SEE THESE GUYS. UM, IN FACT, THEY SAY THEY’RE GOING TO WAIT OUSIDE YOUR WINDOW FOR YOU TO LET THEM IN.

 

 

MILLER 2:

 WHAT? WE’RE ON THE FIFTEENTH FLOOR. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU…

 

 

 

 

 

 

PAGE SEVEN

 

 

1/  ¾ page shot from behind MAYOR MILLER as he looks out of the office in shock. Stood outside on a circular platform of ice are CHRIS, BILLY, AL and VINNIE. EDDIE is floating alongside them.

     This is the first time we see THE GUYS in their newly made costumes.

     CHRIS’ costume is all out superhero. gloves, boots, mask, the lot.

     EDDIE has a fur lined leather jacket, a wwii-esque fighter pilot hat and goggles.

     VINNIE has all black combat gear with pouches and a bandolero of magazines. He has two berettas in his hands and one of those cop gun holsters under his arms. His face is decorated in black face paint in a cool style and his hair is slicked back.

     BILLY is dressed in padded combat trousers, boots, a short sleeved t-shirt and fingerless gloves.

     AL is dressed as normal just with a ski mask.

 

 

MILLER:

  SWEET HOLY HANDBAGS OF HORSESHIT!!!

 

CHRIS:

 GOOD MORNING, MISTER MAYOR.WE WERE WONDERING IF WE COULD HAVE A WORD.

 

 

2/  CHRIS climbs through the window as MILLER backs away in panic.

 

MILLER:

 OH JESUS. WHAT IS THIS, A KIDNAPPING? WHAT DO YOU WANT? JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU PERVERTS.

 

 

CHRIS:

 YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND SIR, WE’RE HERE TO HELP.

 

 

3/ All THE GUYS are in the office now and CHRIS is in the foreground motioning to the others behind him.

 

CHRIS:

 WE READ ABOUT THE THEFT OF THE HEART OF AFRICA DIAMONDBY THE SUPER POWERED VILLAIN KNOWN AS THE SHIFTER AND WE THINK WE CAN HELP. YOU SEE SIR, WE’RE ALSO SUPER POWERED BUT WE WORK FOR THE FORCES OF GOOD. ALLOW ME TO MAKE THE INTRODUCTIONS.

     MY NAME IS CAPTAIN FANTASTIC, MASTER OF FIRE AND ICE. MY COMRADES ARE THE SUPER STRONG FORCE, THE HIGH FLYING FLOATER, WEAPONS MASTER VETO AND…UH…COLONEL INCREDIBLE

 

 

4/

BILLY(small)

 Heh. The Floater.

 

EDDIE:

 DID HE JUST SAY ‘THE FORCES OF GOOD’?

 

AL:

  COLONEL INCREDIBLE?

 

 

5/

 

MILLER:

  YOU’RE – YOU’RE SUPER HEROES?!? YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.

 

AL:

 MAYOR, WE’VE JUST PULLED UP OUTSIDE YOUR FIFTEENTH FLOOR WINDOW ON A PLATFORM OF ICE, THERE’S A GUY FLOATING IN THE CORNER AND WE’RE DRESSED LIKE THIS. YOU DO THE MATHS.

 

 

PAGE EIGHT

 

 

1/ 

 

MILLER:

  HOW? I MEAN…HOW?

 

 

BILLY:

 WE WERE ALL BITTEN BY RADIOACTIVE MARMOSETS. WHAT DOES IT MATTER? WE’RE OFFERING TO HELP YOU.

 

 

2/ 

 

MILLER:

  I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS.

 

 

VINNIE:

 LOOK, DO YOU NEED OUR HELP OR NOT? FOR FUCK’S SAKE, WE COULD BE OUT THERE SHOOTING BAD GUYS IN THE ELBOW RIGHT NOW.

 

3/

 

MILLER:

 OKAY, OKAY. YOU SAY YOU CAN CATCH THIS SHIFTER GUY. YOU GOT NO IDEA HOW MUCH THAT’D HELP. HE ALREADY BROKE INTO TWO BANKS AND A JEWELLERY STORE ALREADY THIS MORNING, BUT I DON’T GET IT. HOW ARE YOU KIDS GOING TO STOP HIM?

 

 

EDDIE:

  JUST THINK OF US LIKE THE GHOSTBUSTERS. YOU GOT YOURSELF A SUPER VILLAIN? WHO YOU GONNA CALL? US.

 

4/ 

 

CHRIS:

  BUT WE WILL NEED A FEW THINGS FIRST MISTER MAYOR.

 

MILLER:

  ANYTHING. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU NEED.

 

5/  A shadowed figure is reading a newspaper with the headline ‘SHIFTER STRIKES AGAIN!’

 

CAPTION:

  ELSEWHERE, SOMEONE ELSE IS TAKING AN INTEREST IN THE ACTIVITIES OF THE CITY’S NEWEST SUPER VILLAIN.

 

 

SHADOWED FIGURE:

  I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS SHIT. THE NERVE OF SOME PEOPLE. WELL, WE’LL SOON SEE ABOUT THIS. THIS ‘SHIFTER’ HAD BETTER WATCH HIS FRIGGING BACK.

 

 

 

PAGE NINE

 

 

1/ BILLY is back in his civilian clothes and is walking along the University campus with RACHEL, the girl whose table he crashed through in issue 2.

 

 

 

 

 

CAPTION:

 AS THE GUYS’ PLAN GETS PUT INTO OPERATION BACK AT THE MAYOR’S OFFICE, THEY ALL GET THE AFTERNOON OFF. BILLY –

 

RACHEL 1:

  GOD, YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. I MEAN, YOU’RE GOING TO BE SUPER HEROES? THAT’S JUST SO…

 

BILLY:

  FREAKY? WEIRD? GAY?

 

RACHEL 2:

 COOL! MY BOYFRIEND, THE SUPER HERO.

 

 

2/

RACHEL 1:

  SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO CALL YOURSELF THEN? WHAT’S YOUR SUPER HERO CODENAME?

 

 

BILLY 1:

  WELL, I THOUGHT ‘THE FORCE’ SOUNDED PRETTY COOL.

 

 

RACHEL 2:

  THE FORCE. OOH, THAT’S GOOD. IT SOUNDS SO …FORCEFUL. HAVE YOU GOT YOUR COSTUME ON UNDER YOUR CLOTHES?

 

 

BILLY 2:

 LET’S FIND SOMEPLACE QUIET WHERE YOU CAN STRIP SEARCH ME AND FIND OUT, RACH – BUT YOU MUST PROMISE NOT TO REVEAL MY SECRET IDENTITY TO A SOUL.

 

 

3/ RACHEL clings closely to BILLY

 

RACHEL:

 OH BABY, THIS IS SO HOT. LET’S GO – FORCE.

 

 

4/  CHRIS is practicing with his powers. He’s making a fire hoop with one hand and an ice rainbow in the other.

 

CAPTION:

 - CHRIS –

 

 

 

 

CHRIS:

 WELL, IT CERTAINLY TAKES SOME CONCENTRATION, BUT IT…

 

 

5/ Same shot. The hoop has changed to a fiery number eight and the rainbow has changed to an ice star.

 

CHRIS:

 …IT’S GETTING EASIER EVERY TIME.

 

 

6/  EDDIE is lying on his back, hovering just below the ceiling.

 

CAPTION:

  - EDDIE –

 

EDDIE:(thinks)

 FINALLY, I’M GETTING THE HANG OF THIS.

 

 

 

PAGE TEN

 

1/  VINNIE is looking down the sights of a beretta that he’s holding out in front of him.

 

CAPTION:

- VINNIE –

 

VINNIE:

  OKAY, YOU LOWDOWN, DIRTY MOTHER FUCKERS. LET’S DANCE – VETO STYLE.

 

 

2/ Over the shoulder shot as he blasts hell out of some melons and tin cans he’s placed on a wall.

 

VINNIE:

  PROBER. HUNTSMAN. THAT PROFESSOR FUCK. AND ESPECIALLY THAT FAT TUB O’ SHIT, MIND-O. BANG BANG, ASSHOLES.

 

3/  AL is lying in bed, pulling a pillow over his head, a pained expression on his face.

 

CAPTION:

 - AND AL.

 

 

 

 

AL:

 OH, MY FUCKING HEAD. FEELS LIKE IT’S GOING TO CRACK.

 

 

4/  MAYOR MILLER is shouting down a telephone.

 

CAPTION:

 MAYOR MILLER.

 

MILLER:

 I DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF THEY HAVE FOUND A PRETZEL SHAPED LIKE ELVIS IN QUEENS, GET THOSE T.V. CAMERAS THE FUCK DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW OR I’LL HAVE YOU REPORTING THE WEATHER IN ALASKA BY TONIGHT, YOU LITTLE TOADY!

 

 

5/  THE SHIFTER pulls on his costume.

 

CAPTION:

 THE SHIFTER.

 

SHIFTER:

 I FEEL ANOTHER GIG COMING ON TONIGHT. AT THIS RATE, I’LL BE ABLE TO RETIRE BY THE WEEKEND.

 

 

6/ The SHADOWED FIGURE from page eight is sitting by some blinds that cast a film noir shadow across his face.

 

CAPTION:

 A MYSTERY PLAYER.

 

SHADOWED FIGURE:

  THAT FUCKING SHIFTER GUY. ALL I NEED’S A CLUE WHERE HE’LL BE NEXT – THEN I’LL KICK HIS THIEVING ASS UP AND DOWN THIS CITY.

 

 

 

PAGE ELEVEN

 

 

1  :  The panel is in the shape of a T.V. screen. MAYOR MILLER is holding a press conference and is surrounded by microphones.

 

MILLER:

THANK YOU. THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING DOWN HERE TODAY. NOW, I’VE CALLED THIS IMPROMPTU PRESS CONFERENCE TO TELL YOU, THE GOOD PEOPLE OF NEW CHESTER, THAT THIS RECENT SPATE OF ROBBERIES COMMITTED BY THE COSTUMED VILLAIN KNOWN AS THE SHIFTER HAS NOT DETERRED CERTAIN EXHIBITIONS FROM COMING TO THE CITY.

 

 

2/  Still the T.V.

 

 

VOICE FROM OFF:

  MAYOR MILLER. MAYOR MILLER, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL US?

 

 

MILLER:

 IF YOU’D SHUT UP, I’LL TELL YOU. I WANT TO ANNOUNCE TO YOU PEOPLE HERE AND ALL THE FOLKS WATCHING AT HOME THAT THE CITY OF NEW CHESTER WILL LIVE IN FEAR NO LONGER AND WITH THAT IN MIND, I’M PROUD TO ANNOUNCE AN EXHIBITION OF GREAT IMPORTANCE – THE SCIENCE EXPO EXHIBIT, FEATURING PRICELESS PROTOTYPES FROM THE SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY.

 

 

3/  THE GUYS are all back in the house now, watching MILLER on T.V

 

 

MILLER’S VOICE FROM T.V.:

 THE EXHIBIT WILL BE OPEN FROM TONIGHT AT TOWER HOUSE. THANK YOU, THAT’S ALL. 

 

CHRIS:

 PERFECT.

 

 

4/

 

SHIFTER:

 PERFECT.

 

 

5/

 

SHADOWED FIGURE:

 PERFECT.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PAGE TWELVE

 

 

 

1/  Shot of outside a new age, sciency looking building – all glass and steel. ‘THE TOWER HOUSE’ is written on the building and there’s a banner reading ‘SCIENCE EXPO HERE TODAY’ above the entrance.

 

 

CAPTION:

 THE DAY PASSES AND NIGHT FINALLY FALLS ON THE CITY. HERE AT TOWER HOUSE HOWEVER, PLANS ARE BEING MADE.

 

VOICE FROM BUILDING:

  OKAY, SO I’M WILLING TO DENY MY INSTINCTS AND BELIEVE YOU GUYS AREN’T JUST FRUITS WHO LIKE DRESSING UP.

 

 

2/  Inside the large, futuristic building. There are large cabinets and stands with weird looking gadgets and machines inside and on them. THE GUYS are there in full costume, talking to MAYOR MILLER.

 

 

MILLER 1:

 BUT YOU GOTTA CONVINCE ME I’VE DONE THE RIGHT THING IN TRUSTING YOU HERE. YOU KIDS GOT NO IDEA HOW BUSY I’VE BEEN ALL DAY TRYING TO GET THAT CONFERENCE OUT ON THE AIR. I DONE MY PART, NOW YOU GOTTA HOLD UP YOUR END.

 

CHRIS 1:

 TRUST ME, MISTER MAYOR. IF THIS SHIFTER SWALLOWS THE BAIT AND TURNS UP TONIGHT, I’M CONFIDENT WE’LL BE ABLE TO CAPTURE HIM.

 

MILLER 1:

 HOW EXACTLY? YOU STILL HAVEN’T TOLD ME HOW YOU’RE GOING TO CATCH A MAN WHO FRIGGIN’ TELEPORTS IN AND OUT OF PLACES.

 

CHRIS:

IT’LL BE FINE, DON’T WORRY.

 

3/  BILLY talks to CHRIS aside.

 

BILLY:

 YOU AIN’T GOT A CLUE HOW TO STOP THIS GUY DO YOU?

 

 

 

CHRIS:

  NOT REALLY, BUT I’M SURE WE’LL THINK OF SOMETHING.

 

4/ In the foreground, THE GUYS are hiding behind a wall. In the background, we can clearly see the open floor of the museum.

 

CAPTION:

 AND SO THE NIGHT WEARS ON AND THE BOYS ARE FORCED TO WAIT AND WAIT.

 

AL:

 GOD, THIS IS SO BORING. SURELY THE SHIFTER WOULD HAVE BEEN BY NOW IF HE WAS COMING.

 

CHRIS:

  WE DON’T KNOW THAT, AL. LET’S JUST KEEP WAITING A WHILE LONGER.

 

VINNIE:

  IF I DON’T GET TO SHOOT SOMEBODY OR SOMETHING TONIGHT, I’M POPPING A CAP IN EDDIE’S LEG.

 

BILLY:

  SORRY GUYS, I JUST FARTED.

 

5/ 

 

EDDIE:(holding nose)

  OH GOD.

 

BILLY:

 YOU THINK YOU GOT PROBLEMS? I’M NINETY PERCENT SURE I JUST FOLLOWED THROUGH.

 

 

PAGE THIRTEEN

 

 

1/  Close up on AL.

 

AL:

 SHUT UP A SECOND, GUYS. LOOK OVER THERE ON THE FLOOR.

 

2/ Shot of a black circle on the floor.

 

3/  They peer behind the wall as THE SHIFTER emerges from the hole on the floor.

 

 

 

CHRIS:(whispers)

 IT’S HIM. IT’S THE SHIFTER. I KNEW HE’D TAKE THE BAIT.

 

EDDIE:

  CHRIST, HE JUST APPEARED FROM OUT OF THE FLOOR. THAT’S FANTASTIC.

 

4/  Close up on CHRIS looking determined.

 

CHRIS:

 NO, I’M FANTASTIC…

 

5/  He steps out from behind the wall and fires ice out of his hand.

 

CHRIS:

  …CAPTAIN FANTASTIC.

 

 

 

PAGE FOURTEEN

 

 

1/  There’s a stream of ice going from CHRIS’ hands to THE SHIFTER’S feet.

 

THE SHIFTER:

 WHAT THE..?! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!

 

CHRIS:

 IT’S ICE GENIUS. YOU’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE NOW SHIFTER.

 

2/  THE SHIFTER drops through a portal hole which he opens underneath his feet. He’s halfway down and waving CHRIS goodbye.

 

THE SHIFTER:

  I WOULDN’T BET ON IT KID.

 

 

3/  The others emerge from behind the wall. They can’t believe what just happened.

 

BILLY:

 OH, WAY TO GO, CAPTAIN FANTASTIC! THAT’S SOME REALLY FUCKING FIRST CLASS SUPER HEROING RIGHT THERE.

 

 

 

 

 

AL 1:

  HE GOT AWAY AND THE FIGHT ONLY LASTED TWO SECONDS? NICE GOING CHRIS.

 

 

CHRIS:

  HEY, I TOLD YOU, COLONEL INCREDIBLE– CALL ME CAPTAIN FANTASTIC IN THE FIELD. AND I DIDN’T SEE ANY OF YOU GUYS TRYING ANYTHING.

 

AL 2:

CHRIS, HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES, MAN? I TOLD YOU, THERE’S NO FUCKING WAY I’M BEING CALLED COLONEL INCREDIBLE!

 

4/ 

 

VINNIE:

  YOU DIDN’T GIVE US A CHANCE TO TRY ANYTHING ANYWAY, CAPTAIN FAN-SPASTIC! DO YOU REALLY THINK HE COULD’VE TELEPORTED AWAY FASTER THAN I COULD’VE SHOT HIM YOU DICK?

 

5/  THE GUYS are on the ground looking up at THE SHIFTER on a balcony above them. He’s clapping and laughing.

 

 

SHIFTER:

 OH, THIS IS GREAT. YOU KIDS ARE PRICELESS, YOU REALLY ARE. THOSE COSTUMES? BRILLIANT. I HAVEN’T HAD A LAUGH LIKE THIS FOR TOO LONG.

 

6/  EDDIE flies up and makes a grab for him.

 

EDDIE:

 LAUGH AROUND THIS YOU ASSHOLE.

 

SHIFTER:

 OOH, SCARY. A FLYING KID. OH NO, WHATEVER WILL I DO?

 

 

 

PAGE FIFTEEN

 

 

1:  THE SHIFTER side steps into a portal only to appear further down the balcony as EDDIE grabs the empty air where he was.

 

EDDIE:

 HUH?!

 

 

SHIFTER:

  YOU IDIOT. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO TOUCH ME WHEN I CAN DISAPPEAR AND REAPPEAR WHEREVER I WANT?

 

2/  BILLY hefts a huge glass case, about to launch it like a javelin.

 

BILLY:

 WE WON’T NEED TO TOUCH YOU ONCE I SLAM THIS THROUGH YOUR HEAD LIKE A DART.

 

3/  The glass case smashes on the balcony but THE SHIFTER is gone.

 

4/  THE SHIFTER is on the ground floor again now. He’s smiling cockily.

 

SHIFTER:

 JESUS, YOU KIDS HAVE GOT WEIRDER POWERS THAN MINE. BUT IT’S STILL NOT ENOUGH – I’M UNBEATABLE!

 

5/  VINNIE fires both guns, bullet casings shooting out of them.

 

VINNIE:

  LET’S SEE YOU SHIFT YOURSELF OUT OF THE WAY OF THESE. AND WITH A COSTUME LIKE THAT, YOU DESERVE TO BE SHOT. THIS IS A MERCY KILLING.

 

 

PAGE SIXTEEN

 

 

1/ THE SHIFTER opens up a black hole in front of him and the bullets fly in.

 

SHIFTER:

  WHY WOULD I TRY TO MOVE OUT OF THE WAY TOUGH GUY, WHEN I CAN JUST REDIRECT THEM?

 

2/ The bullets fly out of the hole that THE SHIFTER has opened up elsewhere and bury themselves in a wall.

 

 

3/  Full shot of THE SHIFTER as he reaches for a machine on a stand. The stand is coloured blue.

 

SHIFTER:

  WELL, THIS HAS BEEN FUN AND ALL YOU CRAZY KIDS, BUT REMEMBER. I COULD HAVE REDIRECTED THOSE BULLETS TO JUST BEHIND YOU INSTEAD OF IN THAT WALL, SO BACK OFF BEFORE I LOSE MY PATIENCE.

 

4/  THE SHIFTER looks suddenly astonished as the blue stand wraps around his wrists and starts to talk.

 

BLUE STAND:

  BEFORE YOU LOSE YOUR PATIENCE? I’VE HAD ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOU, YOU NAME GRABBING SON OF A BITCH.

 

 

SHIFTER:

  WHAT THE…?!?

 

 

PAGE SEVENTEEN

 

 

 

1/ The blue stand, still wrapped around THE SHIFTER’S hands, morphs into a human figure in a blue costume and face mask with yellow boots and gloves.

 

BLUE FIGURE:

  YOU THINK YOU CAN GO AROUND STEALING PEOPLE’S NAMES WITHOUT REAPING THE WHIRLWIND? YOU MUST BE DUMBER THAN THAT COSTUME MAKES YOU LOOK.

 

SHIFTER:

  JESUS CHRIST, GET THE FUCK OFF ME. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

 

2/ The BLUE MAN has his legs morphed into a band wrapped around THE SHIFTER’S waist. THE BLUE MAN is on THE SHIFTER’S back, grappling with him.

 

BLUE MAN:

 WHO AM I? I’M THE REAL SHIFTER YOU FAKE.

 

3/ Headshot of THE GUYS looking on with confused and stunned expressions.

 

BILLY:

 WHAT –

 

CHRIS:

 - THE –

 

VINNIE:

 - HELL’S –

 

AL:

 - GOING –

 

EDDIE:

 - ON?

 

4/  (From this point, The Shifter who can teleport will be the TELE-SHIFTER and the morphing Shifter will be MORPH_SHIFTER. Clever eh?)

 

TELE-SHIFTER punches behind his head into the face of MORPH-SHIFTER who’s still clinging to his back.

 

TELE-SHIFTER:

 UNNF, FUCK OFF ME YOU ELASTICATED ASSHOLE.

 

5  :  Close up on MORPH-SHIFTER’S face. TELE-SHIFTER’S fist is buried in his elastic forehead up to the wrist.

 

MORPH-SHIFTER:

 NICE TRY MORON, BUT YOU’RE TRYING TO HIT A GUY WITH THE PHYSICAL PROPERTIES OF FRIGGING PLASTICINE. GOT YOUR HAND, GOT YOUR HAND.

 

 

 

PAGE EIGHTEEN

 

 

1/  TELE-SHIFTER is halfway out of a teleporting hole, his fist still stuck in MORPH-SHIFTER’S face, who is still on his back like a hungry monkey.

 

TELE-SHIFTER:

 GOTTA…GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE.

 

MORPH-SHIFTER:

 NOT UNTIL AFTER YOU STOP CALLING YOURSELF THE SHIFTER, PUNK. THAT’S MY NAME.

 

 

2/  CHRIS, BILLY and EDDIE examine the spot where the shifters were.

 

EDDIE:

 THEY’RE GONE! DID I JUST SEE THAT? TELL ME I DIDN’T JUST SEE THAT.

 

 

 

 

CHRIS:

  THAT IS THE SINGLE WEIRDEST MINUTE OF MY LIFE. AND NOW THEY’VE BOTH JUST DISAPPEARED. MAYOR MILLER’S GOING TO KILL US.

 

BILLY:

 AH, GOOD RIDDANCE TO BAD SHIT I SAY. THE HELL WITH THOSE TWO, LET THEM CARRY ON MAN WRESTLING SOMEWHERE ELSE. LET’S JUST GO HOME.

 

 

 

3/  THE GUYS are in the foreground and have whipped around suddenly to look at the TWO SHIFTERS who have re-materialised in the background of the museum. They’re still struggling with each other.

 

AL:

 LOOKS LIKE THEY DIDN’T GO TOO FAR.

 

4/

 

MORPH-SHIFTER:

 SAY YOU’LL STOP USING THE NAME AND I’LL LET YOU GO. SAY IT.

 

TELE-SHIFTER:

  N..NEVER. I’M THE REAL SHIFTER – YOU’RE JUST SOME…SOME FREAKY RUBBER BAND.

 

5/

 

CHRIS:

  EXCUSE ME, YOU TWO, BUT..

 

 

6/  Both shifters whip around at the same time to glare at him.

 

 

BOTH:

 STAY OUT OF IT!

 

 

 

PAGE NINETEEN

 

 

1/  MORPH-SHIFTER puts the sleeper hold on TELE-SHIFTER.

 

 

MORPH-SHIFTER:

  CAN’T TELEPORT WITH SOMEONE THIS HEAVY ON, CAN YOU? WELL, YOU ASKED FOR IT. IT’S TIME FOR THE OLD SHIFTER SLEEPER HOLD.

 

TELE-SHIFTER:

  …URK.

 

 

2/  THE GUYS look at CHRIS for orders but he’s shrugging his shoulders.

 

AL:

 WHAT DO WE DO CHRIS?

 

VINNIE:

 YOU WANT ME TO SHOOT THEM BOTH?

 

CHRIS:

 NO, I..I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

 

3/  TELE-SHIFTER slams MORPH-SHIFTER into a wall, hoping to knock him off but his elastic body just flattens to the shape of the wall.

 

MORPH-SHIFTER:

 STRUGGLE ALL YOU WANT, NAME STEALER. YOU’RE GOING DOWN.

 

TELE-SHIFTER:

 GRRK.

 

 

4/  TELE-SHIFTER slumps to the floor, unconscious. MORPH-SHIFTER still has him in the sleeper hold.

 

MORPH-SHIFTER:

 OH YEAH. YOU’RE GOING DOWN LIKE A THIRSTY LESBIAN.

 

 

5/ MORPH-SHIFTER reverts to a normal human state but CHRIS and VINNIE are pointing an ice hand and a gun at him.

 

MORPH-SHIFTER:

 THAT OUGHT TO LEARN YOU. THERE’S ONLY ONE SHIFTER IN THIS TOWN AND THAT’S ME!

 

 

 

 

 

CHRIS:

  HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, MISTER. YOU’VE GOT SOME EXPLAINING TO DO.

 

VINNIE:

  MAKE A MOVE AND I’LL BE MAKING MY OWN RUBBER BULLETS, KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

 

 

PAGE TWENTY

 

 

1/  MORPH-SHIFTER is surrounded by THE GUYS and is semi holding up his hands in surrender and smiling.

 

MORPH-SHIFTER:

 WOAH, HEY, EASY, I AIN’T GOT A PROBLEM WITH YOU KIDS. I SAW YOU FIGHTING THAT JERK EARLIER – YOU KIDS GOT SOME FREAKY POWERS ON YOU.

 

BILLY:

 YOU TOO CHIEF. SO WHAT’S YOUR STORY? HOW’D YOU GET YOUR POWERS?

 

2/ 

 

MORPH-SHIFTER:

  COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, I WAS WORKING NIGHT SHIFT AT MR. JINGLES, THE TOY MANUFACTURERS. IT WAS THE DAMNDEST THING.

 

3/  Flashback now, as MORPH-SHIFTER tells his origin story. He’s walking down aisles of toys in a security uniform with a flashlight.

 

 

CAPTION:

 “I WAS A NIGHT WATCHMAN THEN, JUST WALKING THE FLOOR, SEEING NOBODY’D BROKEN IN. STUFF LIKE THAT. EASY GIG, YOU KNOW?”

 

 

4/  Masked robbers are pointing crackling tasers at him. There’s a door with ‘RESEARCH DIVISION’ written on it.

 

CAPTION:

 “ANYWAY, SEEMS THERE WAS SOME SCIENCE NERD IN RESEARCH WHO’D INVENTED SOME CRAZY NEW VERSION OF SILLY PUTTY. I DON’T KNOW THE EXACT DETAILS. YOU EVER SEE THAT MOVIE ‘FLUBBER’? WELL IT WAS LIKE THAT, ONLY NOT DOG SHIT.”

 

5/  Shot of him grappling with a thug and a canister with blue goo in it breaks above their heads.

 

CAPTION:

 “ANYWAY, SOME GUYS BROKE IN AND TRIED TO STEAL IT. I INTERRUPT, THERE’S A FRACAS, THE CANISTER HOLDING THE GOO BREAKS AND I GET COVERED IN THE STUFF.”

 

 

6/ He’s getting zapped by a taser, his head covered in the blue goo.

 

CAPTION:

  “SEEING AS THEY’D COVERED ME IN THEIR LOOT, THE THIEVES HIGH TAILED IT BUT NOT BEFORE PUMPING ME WITH ENOUGH VOLTAGE FROM A FRIGGING TASER TO KNOCK OVER ROSEANNE.”

 

 

PAGE TWENTY ONE

 

 

1/  He’s looking down at his hands which are running like goo.

 

CAPTION:

  “WHEN I WOKE UP, SOMETHING STRANGE HAD HAPPENED TO ME. SOMEHOW, MIXING THE ELECTRICITY WITH THAT EXPERIMENTAL GOOP GAVE MY BODY THE CONSISTENCY OF PLASTICINE.”

 

 

2/ He’s morphed into a blue pogo stick.

 

CAPTION:

 “IMAGINE MY SURPRISE WHEN I FOUND I COULD SHIFT MY BODY INTO ANY SHAPE I WANTED. THAT’S WHEN I DECIDED TO PUT ON THE COSTUME AND BECOME THE SHIFTER.”

 

3/  Back from the flashback now.

 

AL:

 SO, WAIT A MINUTE. THE ONLY REASON YOU BEAT UP THAT OTHER SHIFTER IS BECAUSE HE TOOK YOUR NAME?

 

 

MORPH-SHIFTER:

 WELL, UH, YEAH. LIKE I TOLD HIM, THERE’S ONLY ROOM FOR ONE SHIFTER AROUND HERE AND IT’S ME.

 

 

4/  Close up on BILLY, eyes narrowed in suspicious concentration.

 

BILLY:

 YEEEAH, BUT HE STARTED OUT LIKE, THREE DAYS BEFORE YOU. HE’S BEEN IN THE PAPERS AND EVERYTHING. HASN’T HE GOT MORE RIGHT TO THE NAME THAN YOU?

 

5/  Close on MORPH-SHIFTER as he stops to think about the timings.

 

 

6/  Close on MORPH-SHIFTER.

 

MORPH-SHIFTER:

 SCREW IT. I’LL ADMIT I’M A PETTY MAN, BUT WHO WON? WHO’S THE SHIFTER NOW? ALL THAT GUY CAN DO IS MOVE PLACES – HE CAN BE THE MOVER FROM NOW ON, FUCK HIM.

 

 

PAGE TWENTY TWO

 

 

1/ BILLY is bending a metal stand in half and attaching it to the unconscious TELE-SHIFTER’s ankle.

 

BILLY:

WHATEVER, MAN. EITHER WAY, HE’S OUT COLD AND I’LL TAKE THAT AS A WIN FOR OUR TEAM.

 

2/ CHRIS shakes MORPH-SHIFTER’s hand.

 

CHRIS:

 ABSOLUTELY. THAT WAS SOME STELLAR WORK THERE, SHIFTER.

 

MORPH-SHIFTER:

THANKS, KID. AND LISTEN, ANY TIME YOU GUYS NEED A HAND TAKING DOWN ANY OTHER THIEVES WITH AMAZING TELEPORTATION ABILITIES, JUST GIVE ME A CALL.

 

3/ With elongated, elastic legs, MORPH-SHIFTER strides away, waving goodbye behind him to THE GUYS.

 

MORPH- SHIFTER:

SO LONG, GUYS. SEE YOU AROUND.

 

4/ Mid shot of THE GUYS rubbing their heads and generally looking a bit spaced and perplexed by events.

 

EDDIE:

WELL, THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE STRANGEST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

 

AL:

 AND THIS FROM A GUY WHO CAN FLY.

 

VINNIE:

HEY, EVEN THOUGH IT WASN’T STRICTLY US THAT CAUGHT THIS TELEPORTING PUNK, YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS DON’T YOU?

 

BILLY:

 NO, WHAT?

 

5/ Close on VINNIE smiling.

 

VINNIE:

WE’RE GETTING BETTER AT THIS SHIT.

 

 

 

END